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lindy_823
about me
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Hi. Here is where you can type random things.
Ideas:
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Quotes, Favorite Bands/Songs, Friends, Hobbies (i.e. cheerleading, basketball),
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| Beautiful Song... |
[Friday
December 23rd, 2005
2:13pm] |
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 I miss my mommy |
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music |
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Jesus take the wheel |
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So I havent really updated latley. I'm more of a family person now. Getting ready for my son. His name is Izaiah Nathaniel Morse. He's due on March 26th. I've decided to name him after my older brother Nate because for one Freedom hated Zeger and Nathaniel is really cute too. Just wanted to say hey and Merry Christmas to everyone... Oh. I thought this was a very beautiful song...
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It's been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh
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[Friday
December 23rd, 2005
12:47pm] |
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Twisted |
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List 20 people you know in NO particular order.
01. Freedom
02. Sammie K
03. Amber
04. Nikki
05. Niki
06. Ben
07. Mike B
08. Mike W
09. Andy
10. Torey
11. Patrick
12. Krystal
13. Nate
14. Ben P
15. Joey
16. Chris M
17. Randy
18. Ryan M
19. Nikki S
20. Brittnay
-How did you meet 13?
Well you see, a little over eighteen years ago, I was pushed outta the woumb and there was my mamma, my daddy, my brother who is #13 (Nate) and then Nikki and Zack. So... I've always known him and looked up to him lots.
-What would you feel if you never met 5?
* She's my sister and my best friend so.. without her I'd be the only girl in the family. I love her to death and I dont know what I'd ever do without her.
-What do you honestly think of 10?
* Good ol' Torey Speer. I think that she has a problem in life. She lives to hurt those closest to her and loves to break people's hearts. She has no respect for anyone, not even herself. I believe she will get what she deserves eventually. It may take a while but sometime she will understand that how she treats people is very wrong.
-Have you ever liked 7?
* Good ol' Mike Beck. Anyone on this earth who knows me, knows I loved that boy with all of my heart and soul. I'll always care for him but not in such ways as I did. I wish he would be the same ol' Michael Jacob Beck that I knew. (Good luck to you and your child)
-If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need them to know?
* That I love him with every single part of me. You are my soul mate. You gave me the most beautiful thing in the world, my son. I will forever be greatful for the love that you give me every single day. You are my life.
-Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?
* Well seems how they were both my best friends at one time, and still... ABSOLUTLEY NOT. I dont think anyone will ever be right for sammie but robbie
-Describe 3 in 3 words:
* daring, hillarious, very outgoing.
-Do you think 12 is hot?
* Krystal Porter... She's my cousin and that's all
-Would 1 and 17 make a lovely couple?
* I'd kill anyone that ever tried to make moves on my baby and seems how Randy is 39 years old and a guy... HELL NO
-What do you think when you see 8?
* He's his own person and as hard as I tried to change him... that's something he has to do himself.
-Do you know any of 6's family members?
* a whole side. He's my cousin.
-What's 20's favorite color?
* She's a girly girl so I would guess pink would be it.
-On a scale of 1-10 how cute is 14?
* Man I guess I shouldnt have written so many family members. He's maybe a 5
-What would you do if 4 just professed their undying love for you?
* Seems how I dont dig chicks, I would probally run real fast.
-What language does 19 speak?
* English
-Would 18 and 4 make a good couple?
* Ha ha ha... Well seems how her ex boyfriend goes out with his ex girlfriend.... maybe
-What grade is 17 in?
* Yeah he's 39
-When was the last time you talked to 12?
* Yesterday.
-What is 3's favorite band?
* Good charlotte
-Does 2 have any siblings?
* she has two brothers and a sister
-Would you ever date 5?
* She's my sister.
-Would you ever date 6?
* Never in a million years.
-What is 20's last name?
* Whyte
-What is 5's middle name?
* Lynne
-What is 10's fantasy?
* Probally to skrew every thing which has a penis.
-Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?
* Well seems how ben is married...
-What school does 16 go to?
* Oh Chris Minzey. He went to Muskegon then to M TEC
-What school does 1 go to?
* nonr
-Where does 9 live?
* in arlington estates
-Would you make out with 14?
* Nope. he's married to my cousin
-re 5 and 6 best friends?
* Nope..cousins
-Does 7 like 20?
* knowing Mike, he would like her.
-How did you meet 15?
* he's my sister's man
-Is 12 older than you?
* yupperz
-Is 2 the sexiest person alive?
* oh yeah sammie...
Initials: LW
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: My brother's girlfriend Kayla
3. Last thing you ate? Chicken noodle soup
4. For or against same sex marriage? That's your choice
5. Are you homophobic? nope.
6. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? Only if Anecia wants me to
7. Do you believe in God? Most definatley
8. How many U.S states have you been to? Oh Wisconsin, Ohio, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida,
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in? 1; Michigan, Florida
10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S? Nope. Never been out of the US
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: umm my eyes
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself: I'm very caring
13. What is your dads name? Lynn
14. What is your dream car? Escelade
15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? To see Pearl Harbor and Anne Frank's annex
16. Favorite type of food? American
17. Favorite holiday? Christmas
18. Do you download music? not anymore
19. How many illegal things have you done? lol too many to count
20. Where would you want to go on a first date? Somewhere no one really goes. Like the top of a high building over the city... Candle light dinner. something romantic like that.
21. Would you date the person who posted this before you? NEVER.
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? My baby sings for me all the time.
23. Have you ever cried for no reason? Let's see, I'm a pregnant chick. YEP.
24. Do you like president Bush? I HATE BUSH
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? nope never will
26. Have you ever white-water rafted? nope
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? yep. This really nasty guy in the mall once.
28. Last person you hugged? Freedom before I left today.
29. Have you met a real redneck? yeah sorta Patick Carr
30. How is the weather right now? FREEKIN COLD
31. What song are you listening to right now? something gay
32. What is your current favorite song? Your gonna be. Remeinds me of my mommy and my son
33. What was the last movie you watched? Something really gay with Freedom.
34. Do you wear contacts? noppe
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? work
36. What are you afraid of? being a parent, being alone, not going to college.
37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? ohhh yeah lol
38. Any pets? My puppy Roxy died and my mom took Lacie to Florida
39. Have you ever loved someone? I have loved a lot of people in time. Two guys... Mike, God did I love that boy more than anything. He was like my other half. Now... Freedom is my fiance, the father of my son, my world. Everything good that ever happened to me.
40. What really turns you on? lol none ya.
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Nothing I hate Starbucks
42. Have you ever fired a gun? yeah. Lots of them
43. Are you missing someone? I miss my mommy a lot
44. Say something totally random about yourself: I can no longer see my damn feet.
45. Do you have an iPod?: nopers
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? yeah.
47. Whats your mom's name? Julie
48. Who would you like to see right now? My mom. Christmas sucks without you.
49. Are you comfortable with your height? I guess
50. Dogs or cats? dogs for sure
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? yeah. Lots....
52. Favorite flower? Pink ones
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? i like butter and salt.
54. What books are you reading? One Tuesday Morning
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? nope not yet
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Oh a whole lot of people. My Uncle, Jeremy, My daddy.
57. Do you watch MTV? love mtv
58. What's something that really annoys you? Freedom's little bratty sister
59. What are some things you really like? spending time with Freedom, feeling Izaiah Nathaniel Morse inside of me.
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? about as much as i like to smell shit
61. Have u ever talked to your parents fucked up and they didnt notice? nope.
62. Fav basketball team? State
63. Favorite breakfast food? ham and egg and cheese corsaints
64. Do you drive? illegally
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out? i dont even know... i dont have a curfew, all night
66. Last time you went bowling? yep. Lots
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? yep.
68. Last time you were at work? Long time ago
69. Whats your favorite state to live in? Michigan. It's where most of my family is... I miss my mom though. A lot
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| New Layout |
[Friday
December 23rd, 2005
10:15am] |
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So... I'm trying to figure out my new layout thingy on here... There are boxes on the sides but I have no idea how to put the info in them GRRRRR....
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| Bordem |
[Wednesday
September 28th, 2005
9:06pm] |
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[x] First Breath: August 23, 1987
[x] Girl or Boy: Girl
[x] Height: 5'4
[x] Hair color: brown
[x] Eye color: Depends on my mood... mostly blue
[x] Glasses/Contacts: nope
[x] Braces: nope
[x] Where were you born: General Hospital, Muskegon MI
[x] Current Location: At home
[x] Today's Date: September 28
[x] Time: 9:07
--FAMILY--
[x] Mother's name: Julie
[x] Father's name: Biological Lynn (he's dead now =*( and Derek
[x] Brother's name: Doug, Ray, Bob, Roney, Nate, Zack, Zackariah
[x] Sister's name: Lori, Thresa, Niki, Jacklyn
[x] Favorite aunt: Barbie
[x] Favorite uncle: Howie
[x] Favorite cousin: Krystal, Ben
[x] Favorite grandpa: Don't have one... they all died
[x] Favorite grandma: I love them all
--FAVORITES--
[x] Number: 19
[x] Letter: M
[x] Toy: Dunno
[x] Movie: Save the last dance
[x] T.V show: Laguna beach, 7th heaven, Real World
[x] Shoes: I love all my shoes
[x] Clothing: the ones that still fit
[x] Cologne/Perfume: Adidas
[x] Song: Lots of them... any that remind me of Freedom... If I ever fall in love again, Let me hold you, Beautiful as you
[x] Candy: wow... I have no clue
[x] Food: Chicken
[x] Singer: I love lots of them
[x] Group: Geez... I dunno
[x] Type of music: All of it
[x] Hangout: Wherever Freedom is.
[x] Fastfood Restaurant: Burger King
[x] Season: Summer
[x] Day: Tomorrow
[x] Weekday: Tomorrow
[x] Month: June
[x] Shampoo: I dunno... what's in the shower
[x] Deodorant: Suave
[x] Car: A white chevy
[x] Country: This one
[x] State: Michigan.... my family rocks.
[x] Boy's name: my son's name... Isaiah Jeremiiah Morse
[x] Girl's name: Alexandria Nicole Morse
[x] Music video: idk
[x] Word: Fricken
[x] Swear word: what ever sooths me at the time
--WHATS THE FIRST THiNG YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR--
[x] George Bush: Dumb ass
[x] Laguna Beach: Freedom.. he hates that show.
[x] Jessica Simpson: Dog
[x] Hilary Duff: My little sister
[x] Britney Spears: I hope I never see her again
[x] Fuck: Amber and Mr. Brochert LOL
[x] Orange: those are good
[x] Love: Freedom T. Morse
[x] Gay: Mike Beck
[x] Donut: Melissa...that's all she ever eats anymore
[x] Water: I need some
--THIS OR THAT--
[x] Rock or Rap: Rock
[x] Rap or Pop: rap
[x] Rock or Pop: Rock
[x] R&B or Rock: R&B
[x] Metal or Rock: Rock
[x] Pop or R&B: r&b
[x] Pop or Metal: pop
[x] Rap or R&B: rap
[x] Britney or Christina: Britney
[x] Hilary or Lindsay: Neither
[x] Chad Michael Murray or Jude Law: Chad
[x] Gay or Lesbian: Lesbian.
[x] Usher or Justin Timberlake: USHER
[x] Basketball or baseball: Baseball
[x] Pen or pencil: Pen
[x] Skateboard or rollerblade: Rollerblade
[x] Ski or snowboard: Snowboard
[x] Me or you: You
[x] Dora or Blue: Dora
[x] Red or Blue: Blue
--PERSONAL LiFE--
[x] Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: yep
[x] What is his/her name: Freedom Morse
[x] When did you get together: June
[x] How long have you been together: 4 months
[x] How did you meet: Work
[x] How many friends do you have: oh shit... lots
[x] Do you smoke: no
[x] What about drink: no
[x] Are you a virgin: yep.... lol
[x] If no, when was the last time you got any?: before he went to jail.
--FRiENDS--
[x] Best friend(s): Amber, Niki, Sammie, Andy
[x] Known the longest: see above
[x] Craziest: Andy
[x] Shyest: Amber
[x] Sweetest: Sammie
[x] Nicest: Sammie
[x] Most likely to get lost: Amber and Samantha
[x] Most likely to fall in love Alot: Niki
[x] Scariest: none
[x] Best hair: Niki
[x] Most athletic: Niki, Amber
[x] Most likely to say, "Do you have to be Dutch to wear Von Dutch?": Sammie
[x] Tallest: Sammie
[x] Shortest: Ber
[x] Always there when you need them: All of them
[x] Loudest: Andy, Niki
[x] Funniest: All of them
[x] Hottest: Freedom
[x] Best dressed: ?
--THOUGHTS--
[x] What do you think about gay/lesbian people: whatever makes um happy
[x] George Bush: Worst thing that ever happened to the US
[x] Suicide: Dumbest most selfish thing you can ever do.
[x] Boy bands: Depends on who
[x] The color pink: It's my favorite
--WHAT DID YOU DO--
[x] last birthday: Went to Applebee's with the fam.
[x] Today: Went to see Freedom... nothing at all
[x] Christmas: Had Christmas with the fam
[x] Thanksgiving: same as above..
[x] Easter: went out to eat
[x] Valentine's Day: Grounded
[x] Yesterday: Went to see Freedom
[x] Last weekend: Nothin really
--LAST THING--
[x] You ate: Chili
[x] Hugged: Freedom
[x] Kissed: Freedom
[x] You listened to: Rainin on Sunday
[x] Person you saw: Melissa before she left
[x] Person you talked to: Melissa
[x] Person you fucked: Freedom
--YES OR NO--
[x] Are you straight: Yes
[x] Are you Asian: No
[x] Are you Caucasian: Yes
[x] Are you Mexican: no
[x] Are you none of the above: No
[x] Do you like eggs: yep
[x] What about candy: yep
[x] Girls: select few as friends
[x] Guys: Freedom
[x] You: at times
[x] Still friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend: nope as far as I'm concerned, they can all go fuck eachother... Especially Mike
[x] Am i annoying you: nope
[x] Are you glad its over: sure.
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| Mixed Feelings.... |
[Wednesday
September 28th, 2005
8:26pm] |
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She misses him |
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WOW. I never thought that I could
say that Freedom comes home tomorrow.... yet in 27 and 1/2 hours, he
will be home. He's got me all mixed up inside. He's always happy to see
me. Always. He's never done or said anything to me in my life to hurt
me... well, not until today. I went to see him like I do everyday on
his lunch break and he's always smiley and cute. He's always hugging me
and telling me how much he loves me. He's always asking me why I love
him so much. I always tell him, he never needs to know why I love him
so much. He just needs to know that I do and that I will never give up
on him. It will never matter to me if he becomes something in life or
if he works as a cook his whole life. I will never care if he's not
rich or anything like that. I just want to be happy. He makes me happy.
Very happy. I know he loves me. You can tell just by looking at the two
of us. I've never changed my mind, not even for a single minute because
of something someone said to me about him. I've always just loved him.
He told me that he didnt want me to come see him tomorrow because
seeing me, makes his time go by slower everyday. I understand where
he's comming from but then again at the same time, knowing that he's
out there and I can see him but don't, breaks my heart. I don't think
he realizes that what he said to me today hurt so bad but it did. I
hope he misses me tomorrow when he's on his lunch and everyone elses
wives are there. Yes I know that we are not married yet. I just hope he
misses me just as much as I miss him. God do I miss him already.
Why I love you....
When you ask me why I love you, I don't know what to say.
I love every part of you in every single way.
But if you want specifics, I'll try to meet your wish.
I'll do my very, very best to make you a list,
I love you for your arms that hold me at night,
I love you for your kisses, sometimes strong, sometimes light.
I love you for your patience they never seem to end.
I love you for the simple fact that I can call you my friend.
I love you for your lips that always seem to smile,
When you look at my face even for a little while.
I love you for your eyes that see deep inside my soul,
I love you for your abililty to always make me whole.
I love you for your honesty, I know you'll never lie.
I love you for your passion, so much that it makes me cry.
I love you for your humor, and the little jokes you tell
I love this and a million other reasons as well.
You see how hard it is to narrow it down,
There are so many reasons, but one thing I have found,
The love that you give me, makes my world go around.
So there you go Freedom, the
reason's I love you. I cant wait until you come home. I wont lie
to you.... These past 22 days have been the hardest days of my entire
life. I've cried myself to sleep every night. You are the light at the
end of a long dark tunnel called life. You are my life. Without you,
there's no way I could ever be me. I'll love you forever and then some.
I dont care what people say about you. You will always be someone to
me. The father of my baby and soon, my husband. I can't wait to be your
wife. By the way, I'm so excited that you will be out soon and you can
finally read my journal... I love you baby boy.
~your wife~ (well soon)
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| 50 hours to go.... |
[Tuesday
September 27th, 2005
10:15pm] |
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My niece reading |
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So, I've been counting down for twenty three days until he comes home. He comes home in 50 hours and I am the happiest person alive. Ugh. I cant wait to see him tomorrow. Amber and I are going out there after she gets out of work to have cake with them. (my mom finally made my b-day cake). I decided not to eat it so that I could have it with him tomorrow. I am so excited cause I love him like crazy and I miss him so much. He's always talkin about how he wants to get married right after he gets home and stuff like that. I think that I am going to stay with him at his mommy's on Thursday. I was just reading Camille's journal and I finally know the truth..... Mike did really cheat on me a long time ago. LOL. He's not even worth talking about. So, back to Freedom... He's so sweet to me when I go see him. He's always so happy to see me. God I love him so much. Well, I am going to watch tv with my sister so I'll write more later....
50 HOURS TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Wow. |
[Thursday
September 22nd, 2005
9:03pm] |
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lonely |
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music |
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Best of Intentions |
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These past couple of days have been full of emotion. Nikki Wever, Pam (Freedom's mommy) and I went to visit him at the jail on Wednesday. They told us he was on Silver Sides so he want there for the visitation. It made me incredibly sad. Well, I got to thinking about how he said he had to do community service to start paying off every thing and Nikki and I went to Silver Sides to see if I could set up a visitation. Well, when we drove up, he was standing right there. He ran up to the car and gave me a big kiss. I was the happiest person alive. I got to talk to him for a little while and he told me I could visit him on his lunch so I came back and spent some time with him on his lunch. It was so much fun. I miss him so much. Today, I went back on his lunch again and ran around in a thunderstorm trying to find him. I felt like a kid again. It was so much fun. He put his necklace on my neck and told me any time I missed him to just touch it and he'll know. I miss him so much. I almost think it would have been easier if I wouldnt have seen him. It's so hard to leave him. I miss him so much it's insane. Tomorrow is my first ultra sound and he wont get to be there for it. It hurts so bad to think he wont be there. UGH. I hope that I can go see him tomorrow. If not, I will be so sad. I have to see him. He's my everything. People look down on him so much. I wish they could just see what I see. I've never been loved like this. I've never loved anyone as much as I love him. I cant explain it.
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| Time is slowly ticking |
[Monday
September 19th, 2005
1:57pm] |
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The Jerry Mcguire song LOL |
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Wow. I still have 10 days to go until he comes home. I feel like it's taking forever. Thank God for my friends or I wouldnt know what the hell to do. I would go insane sitting here all the time just thinking about him. So, the other night after the football game, Amber and Alecia and I decided we would go to Village Inn to visit Nikki Wever while she was working.... we did. Then we left and went to Burger King where we saw Danny, Nikki's so called boyfriend. He was with some other chick and I was just really pisset d off at him so I called Nikki's mom. Well, Nikki and her mom had a chat that night. Amber and I went to Nikki's the next night to hang out. Danny was supposed to come over and talk to her and we wanted to hear her yell at him because we really hate him for the way he treats her and the way he took advantage of her family. Well, he got there so we hid outside on her porch. We couldnt really hear them so we thought we would check up front. It was my brilliant idea to crawl on the ground so he didnt see me, he turned around and looked right at me. I grabbed Amber and as I turned around, I hit my wrist on the side of the house. It's really swollen and it hurts really bad. I got a good laugh out of it though. Freedom is going to be kinda mad at me when I go see him on Wednesday. So, it's dinner with the rents tonight. My sister's birthday is on Thursday so were having dinner. I went to get in the shower this morning and when I turned on the light, it went out. I cant take a shower in the freekin dark and I cant find another light bulb. RAAAARRRHHH.
One look
One smile
One touch
One embrace
One kiss
One love
Two people
Two minds
Two souls
Two destinies
One road
One journey
One ending
Together.
A bell is not a bell
until someone rings it,
a song is not a song
until someone sings it.
Love wasn't put
in the heart to stay,
for love isn't love
'til you give it away.
Love is when you look into someone's eyes
and see their heart.
Love is when you look into someone's eyes,
and see everything you need.
Standing by,
All the way.
Here to help you through your day.
Holding you up,
When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is you seek.
Catching your tears,
When you cry.
Pulling you through when the tide is high.
Just being there,
Through thick and thin,
All just to say, you are my friend.
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| Moment from my past.... |
[Thursday
September 15th, 2005
10:32pm] |
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mood |
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 The things I could have done.. |
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music |
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When I see you smile |
] |
Wow. So I just had an incredible moment from my past. Nikki, Amber, Andy and I went to E&A. I walk in and guess who of all people is standing at the front desk? It could have been anyone else. Anyone at all. I would have rather it been Mike Beck. However, it just so happens that it was Chris Minzey. I thought I was going to puke. I was all shaky. Every couple of minutes he turned around and smiled at me like he wanted to talk to me. I just stayed with the girls and ignored him. It was incredibly hard for me to do. Now, I feel guilty that I got all worked up about even seeing him. I love Freedom. I would never want to be with anyone else but him for the rest of my life. Ever. He's my world and then some. I guess I'm just having a moment or two. So I decided I would come home and work on some wedding stuff. Hopefully it will get Chris out of my mind. I do not need to cause any more trouble for that boy. I feel bad enough for the stuff he already had to go through. Anyways... Enough about Chris. There's no need to get all worked up over a silly fling from the past. I talked to Brian today... I got some more of my stuff. Torey's moving into Patrick's they got back together. Ugh. So Nikki W. and I are going to go do some more stuff for the wedding tomorrow. Then Amber and I will be attending the football game. Then going to Village Inn to visit Nikki at work. I think things will be much better now that Danny doesnt live with her. She is oh so much more fun. I played so much Uno today. It was only one game but Andy kicked our asses. All of them. I give him full credit for the game. I need to write Freedom another letter. I miss him so much. Two more weeks and he will be home. Time is going by so slow. As long as I keep busy throughout the day, it goes by faster. Tomorrow I need to make up a guest list with addresses and stuff to make it easier for me when I mail some invitations. I have a feeling that tonight will be a long long night... Anyone with suggestions for music at the wedding reception... Leave a comment and let me know. I need to find the bridal shower cd thingy and take a look at it. I think I might just go do that now....
Lindsay Loves Freedom Forever and Always
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| Very happy.... |
[Thursday
September 15th, 2005
2:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Stained |
] |
So, yesterday Freedom's mom and I went to the jail to visit him at the ass crack of dawn... 9:00 am. Well, for those of us who are pregnant it's the ass crack of dawn. Anyways, I was extremely embarrassed because I went in there and knew like 3 people right away. UGH. I was like oh hi. Two of which were my freekin siblings. Oh geez the joys of being a Whipple. So I got to talk to him for a while. Ugh I cant wait until he comes home. Two weeks from tomorrow. He's so cute. Even though he hasnt shaved or anything and really needs to get a hair cut. LOL. I still love him. It was hard to sit across from him and not be able to touch him. I had to talk to him through glass on a phone. Dang. Anyways... he was so happy to see me. We cried a whole lot. So, the preperations for my wedding have begun. The process is going to be oh so long. So here's what I have. The date... Toss up between the 11th and 18th of Feb. I guess he gets to choose.
Bridal Party....
Maid of Honor... Nicole Whipple
Bride's maid... Nicole Wever
Bride's maid... Amber Everett
Bride's maid... Krystal VanHall
Bride's maid... Jacklyn Batt
Bride's maid... Samantha Lowery
Groom's Party.... this is what I'm guessing because it's all up to him.
Best Man... Andy Wingett
Groom's men... Zack Whipple
Groom's men... Nate Hamilton
Groom's men... Erik VanHall
Groom's men... Patrick Carr???
Groom's men... ???
Flower girl's... Melissa Lewis, Aneshia Morse
Ring Bear.... Anthony Morse
Master and Mistress of ceremonies... Todd and Kim Wever
Make up and hair and Photogropher... Barbie VanHall
Catering... Randy Thorstenson
Location... River of Life assembly of God????
Reception... VFW hall
it's a work in progress.
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| God I miss him more and more each day |
[Saturday
September 10th, 2005
4:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
with arms wide open |
] |
So I'm sitting here planning out my wedding, or some of it.... I started thinking about him and how much I love him... People have their doubts about him but to me, he's the single most amazing person I have ever loved in my entire life. I want him to know that no matter what happens in the future, I will always stand by him. I found this song and it describes me perfectly...
"When You Come Back To Me Again"
There's a ship out
On the ocean
At the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about
Lost and broken
Wandering aimlessly
And God somehow
You know that ship is me
'Cause there's a lighthouse
In the harbour
Shining faithfully
Pouring its light out
Across the water
For this sinking soul to see
That someone out there
Still believes in me
On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and
It keeps me hanging on
Raining down
Against the wind
I'm reaching out till
We reach the circle's end
When you come
Back to me again
There's a moment
We all come to
In our own time and
Our own space
Where all that we've done
We can undo
If our heart's
In the right place
On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and
It keeps me hanging on
Raining down
Against the wind
I'm reaching out till
We reach the circle's end
When you come
Back to me again
And again I see
My yesterday's in front of me
Unfolding like a mystery
You're changing all that is
And used to be
On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and
It keeps me hanging on
Raining down
Against the wind
I'm reaching out till
We reach the circle's end
When you come
Back to me again
When you come
Back to me again
I've done a lot of thinking latley... I've come to the conclusion that no matter how many differences my parents and I are... I dont want them to leave. I know that my dad just bought a trailor so that he can start packing all of the stuff for Florida. Well, it's already all packed but it's sitting in the garage at the other house they own. However, now they are starting to load me entire life up and move it 1400 miles away to some little town in Florida called Lakeland. I think for the first time in my life, I have realised just how much I need my mom. I mean what happens if she isnt here when I go into labor? I know Freedom will be there but it's just not the same. I think that him being in there makes me sit and think a little more than I should and I hate that. I hate thinking about him in there and my parents leaving. I hate thinking about the things I would have changed at this time last year if only I would have known my dad only had a couple of months to live and hate feeling guilty because I didnt spend as much time with him as I should have. I hate thinking that as much as I want him to be back for my wedding, he will never be there. It will never happen. I think that it makes it so much harder that for some reason I cant believe Freedom is in there. I jump up every time someone knocks on the door, my heart stops each time the phone rings hoping it will be his mom saying we can go pick him up. I just keep setting myself up for extreme dissapointment. I think it hurts a little more each time it happens. Hopefully I will be able to see him on Wednesday. God I guess all I can do is hope and pray that things get better. UGH life these days..
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| Hmmm? |
[Friday
September 9th, 2005
2:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 22 days to go |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none |
] |
So, it turns out that through the probally 100 times I called the jail booking place.... they finally gave me some info. They told me that Freedom either has to pay 1,510 or spend 63 days in jail. I dont think I had ever heard anything worse in my life. I broke down and cried probally 12 times in two hours. Then for some unknown reason, I decided that I would call back and see if they found anything else out. The awesome police officer that I love oh so very much.... told me that he would only be in there for 25 days total and after the days are up, he will not have any of his fines anymore. Oh wow did my life get so much better. So I gladly called his mommy.. who by the way now loves me (YEY) and we are going to go visit him on Wednesday morning at 8:30. Unless of course they dont let me in then she will only be visiting him but I will take her anyways. I am very happy that in 22 days, my entire life will return to me. I'm very sad that he wont be able to be there when I have my first ultrasound but... at least things will be okay. I keep praying that somehow they will get way to over crowded and let him out early
I went to see 40 year old virgin last night... very funny movie. I went with my sister, Joey, and Kyle.... the boy hit on me the whole time we were out. I was like, shut up boy. You had your chance with me and I'm with Freedom now and I'll never give up on him. He's my whole world. I dont think I could ever love anyone as much as I love him. It's like when I see him, all the bad things that ever happened in my life disappear and all I can think about is how much he means to me now and that I'm very happy to be spending the rest of my life with him. Not to mention starting a family. I want to marry him as soon as I can. I should probally get some more information on that one... I dont care when or where I just want to be married to him. If that was the only thing I ever did for the rest of my life, I would die the happiest person alive. So... I havent decided if I am very happy that he gets out in 22 days or if I am very sad that I still have to wait that long to see him...
Oh and thanks to Susie Peake because she's concerned about me and I love you. I'm sure you will marry Zach Hodge and his very cute hair cut. LOL I love you susie
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| The Brokeness I feel when I think about him all alone there.... |
[Wednesday
September 7th, 2005
4:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Best of Intentions |
] |
So last night, Patrick my best friend in the whole world, well besides Amber and Sammie... thought it would be a good idea that we go pick up Freedom at his mom's and have a party at Patrick's. All was great. We were staying at Patrick's together and I was incredibly happy. Then Patrick, Freedom, and Fricken Andy decided they wanted to go get some more alcohol from Jack's. Well on their way back, They thought it would be oh so much fun to go into the power lines to scare the shit out of Andy who was in the back of Patrick's truck. They ended up getting pulled over. The police officer's searched Patrick and Freedom, ran their licences and it turns out that Freedom had a warrant out for his arrest for some unpaid fine. So, they took him to jail. I dont know how the hell my life could get any worse right now. His bail is set at $350 and he will probally sit in there until someone has the money to pay it. You see, this boy is my whole world. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me. If anything ever happened to him, my world would crumble into tiny little pieces that could never be discovered. Hopefully, Patrick will be able to bail him out when he gets paid next week. He said he would but, we will see. I have to talk to Freedom's mom tonight sometime though I cant really get ahold of her. I feel like my heart is broken into a million little pieces and I hate this. I dont even know the next time I will be able to see him. UGH. I know that he's a big boy and he can take care of himself in there. It isnt the first time he's been there so he knows what's up. Still... the only thing I can do is sit home and wait for a phone call or a miracle. Well that's all for now I suppose I should go set up my room.... Then again I might find some more of his stuff and cry my eyes out yet once again....
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| I miss him already |
[Tuesday
September 6th, 2005
7:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
God I miss him already |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Some movie |
] |
So, these are the events of my life currently. I was living with Whorey, oopps I mean Torey for a little while. It was cool eventhough she's a big bitch and if every thing doesnt go her way, she goes crazy. She is a terrible mother. I mean who the hell would leave their 1 year old child at home with some friends while they spent nights at their boyfriends?? Please. I wont exactally tell everything about why she's a terrible mom but just make a personal note that she is. Anyways, I went to Freedom's family get together yesterday and it lasted until real late and then we just decided that we would stay there instead of comming home really late. Well when we got back to Torey's we found all of our stuff out on the porch. I just laughed my ass off. She thinks the world revolves aroundd her and it just doesnt. I dont know who would let their daughter get flea bites so bad that it it looks like chicken pox? So, currently I am staying with my sister Niki again cause my rents moved out of their house and are on their way to Florida. But that's only until Freedom and I get our own home soon. We might even be moving right down the road from Torey and it would be so funny cause she would NEVER come to my home. I would NEVER again watch her child. I hope she burns in hell. She will be lucky if she doesnt get Kimmy taken away from her. She's just stupid. I miss Freedom. I miss knowing that he was comming home with me every night. He might come over to my house tonight but if not, he will tomorrow. He promised. We felt the baby for the first time yesterday. He cried. It was the first time I ever seen him cry. I love that boy so much I would give my life for him. He's my whole world. I dont think he understands just how much I love him. UGH. Well, currently we are watching some movie about love. It's pretty good so I am going to go finish it... I'll write more later.
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[Thursday
August 18th, 2005
4:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mmmm cake and taco's |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The fan |
] |
Life gets even more interesting every day. My parents are packing everything up and moving to Florida. My dad leaves in two weeks and my mom after my cousin Erik's wedding in October (as my sister corrects me after reading my journal over my shoulder LOSER) I've decided against going to college this fall. I'll start in the winter. Even though I will be incredibly fat and pregnant then. So my birthday is on Tuesday. I will finally be 18. Wow. How exciting. Whatever. Torey Speer (who is supposed to be my best friend) is currently dating Patrick, the like only person I've loved forever.. Stupid whore. She dates him after dating Mike Beck and playing him. Though he deserves so much worse. Loser. Still, what kind of friend dates their best friends ex boyfriends. Or steals them? She's not even that frekin pretty. I dont understand. So I've come to the conclusion that if I have a boy, his name will be Isaiah Jeremiiah Morse. And if it's a girl, Freedom gets to choose but more than likley her name will be Gracie Lynne Morse. I'm due on March 17 which is ST. Patrick's day and also Patrick Carr's birthday. Hopefully I can wait a few more days and then have the baby on my dad's birthday on the 24th. As soon as I have my ultra sound, I will scan the pic on the puter so everyone can see the baby. My brother has gone insanely crazy. Something about a volovo making it through a wall. WOW. So Jeremy's birthday is on Sunday. It still bugs me that he isnt here. It's been a while. I'm sad. I wish I could go back to high school again. Life was oh so much easier there. UGH. well I'm sitting here on my ass on the hard wood floor and it hurts so I'm going to go now
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| Sadness over comes me at times... |
[Saturday
August 6th, 2005
8:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
So last night, my puppy Roxy decided not to have the will to live anymore. I would say died but that hurts too much. She started bleeding so they took her to the vet but the vet people said that they couldnt help her there so they had to take her to Lansing.... Two minutes before they got there, she died. I cant believe it. No one knows why but she did. I am so sad about it. She was my baby. She did everything with me. She was my shadow. I miss her so much already. So that's about all I can say, the tears are starting to flow.
Lindsay
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| Ahh the joys of parenting |
[Sunday
July 31st, 2005
8:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dora |
] |
Okay so for those of you who dont already know, Freedom and I are having a baby. I am just 6 weeks pregnant and I am actually very excited. I am in the process of moving into my own house, well with Freedom. I just got a job working at Shell in Spring Lake so I'm pretty sure everything will be just fine. I'll be 18 in a couple of weeks so I dont really have to worry about much I know that no matter what happens, Freedom will be right there along with me. He will never let anything happen to me so I know I'll be okay. I had a big scare the other night and ended up in the ER but other than that, the both of us are okay. If we have a boy, his name will be Isaiah Brian Morse and if it's a girl, I have no idea cause he wants to pick her name. I'm hoping for a boy so bad. Well, I am spending some time with my niece so I need to get going. I'll update later
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| Ahh the joys of life. |
[Friday
July 15th, 2005
9:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
100 years to live |
] |
So I havent updated latley because most of my time is spent with him. I'm in love, completley in love with him. Nah none of you know him. Well no one but Alecia cause we used to work with him. His name is Freedom Morse. The single most amazing person I know. He makes me feel like the most beautiful person in this entire world and I dont know what I would ever do without him. When I'm not with him, I'm usually busy being a mommy to a little girl whose dad's a dead beat so it takes both Torey and I to raise her. It's amazing how you grow into love. When I first moved in there, I was so scared to do anything with her. I was scared to feed her, scared to change her. Scared to put her to bed. Now, I just look at her and I see so much in her. So many dreams I want her to accomplish. I want this baby to be a doctor or something big. I want her to do so good in life. I've never loved anyone this way. Being in love with him and loving her brings so much joy into my life. It's like I wake up in the morning to her crying for me and I open my eyes and see him laying there next to me and I know that somehow, every thing is going to be just fine. So, Torey's dad got diagnosed with Cancer the other day. On Wednesday. It broke my heart. I just went through all of this with my own dad. Now I have to turn around and do it again for my adopted dad. Sometimes life can be so rough. Then once again you get a big huge break and meet someone like him and everything bad in your world just sits in the back of your mind. I mean this man is amazing. It only took him holding me one time and I knew I wanted to stay there for the rest of my life. He's so awesome. I cant wait to marry him and have his baby. Well, I am going to get going. Leave me a comment
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| Songs from the heart... |
[Tuesday
May 31st, 2005
1:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Honesty |
] |
As you all know, I am a big music and poetry freak. I've been reading lyrics and stuff for about an hour... Here are some that mean a lot to me...
Brandon....
I've learned so many things
from the experiences we've been through
but the hardest lesson, yet, to learn
is how to "unlove" you
I've learned not to fall so hard-
not to fall in love so fast
because, as quickly as it comes into your life,
it can quickly become your past
I've learned not to trust- so much,
to read between the lines
because, if I had known what I now know
I would have known you were never mine
I've learned not to be so open
not to wear my feelings on my face
because, they can be used against you
like they were.. in my case
I've learned to be more honest
to express how I feel
because, you never knew how I felt
because, I kept my feelings sealed
I've learned not to be so accepting
to put someone else before me
because, when I did this for you
you never fulfilled my needs
I've learned it is not always best
to give out a second chance
because when I did this for you
you took me for granted
I've learned not to be so nice
not to be so believing
because you forsook my love
and mistook my kindness for weakness
I've learned NOT to believe
that absence makes the heart grow fonder
because when I tried to give you your space
it made your heart wander
I've learned NOT to be so forgiving
and to try to make things work
because when I did this for you
I only got myself hurt
I've learned so many things
from the experiences we've been through
but the hardest lesson, yet, to learn
is how to "unlove" you
Patrick...
I don't know how to explain it,
If only you could truly see,
How much I really care for you,
How much you mean to me.
I look forward to seeing you every day,
The grin that belongs only to you,
When I see you I can't help but smile,
There is just something about you.
When you put your hand in mine,
My heart suddenly beats faster,
I wish I could tell you right then and there,
That my life could never be better.
When you wrap your arms around me,
For a simple, gentle hug,
I want to stay in that moment forever,
And tell you how much you really are loved.
When we gradually come close enough together,
Our lips touch, a kiss,
Nothing around us seems to matter,
Because there is nothing sweeter than this.
No words could ever express how much you mean to me,
I hope you have these feelings for me, too;
I can't figure out just what it is,
But there is definitely something very special about you.
I'm afraid to give my heart again
afraid to lose
to love again
to kiss your lips
and to look into those eyes again
I can't help but worry that I'll get hurt again
I can only notice your presence again
feel your touch
your tenderness again
the glare of your eyes
and the strength of your arms again
I can't help but think I'll fall hard for you again
I can only hope to feel safe again
secure within myself-
alive again
share myself-
you and me again
I can't help but dream that there will be an 'us' again
I'm afraid to hear those words again
"I don't want this"
"I want to break it off again"
to say goodbye
and cry myself to sleep again
I can't help but worry that I'll be alone... again
Sitting in my bedroom,
Not knowing what to do,
So, I decided to write down all my feelings,
And make it a poem- from me to you.
'Cause when I'm with you,
I never feel any pain,
All I have to do is see your smile,
And then I'm happy again.
I don't see you every day,
But that's the way it's gotta be.
Just knowing you are there
Is good enough for me.
You've hugged me when I'm ill,
You've hugged me when I've cried,
You've helped me through the hardest times,
Without even a sigh.
You're always on my mind,
No matter what I do,
Wherever I go,
Whatever I see...
It always leads back to you.
I hope you have enjoyed reading
This poem I wrote for you.
I know it sounds cheesy,
But I will always and truly love you.
Accidently In Love
So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love
So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love
These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no
Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love
Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love
We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love [x7]
Accidentally
I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally [x2]
Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her
Love ...I'm in love
Honesty
He said: "Just think it over, and write me a list,
"So we can figure out what we both deserve."
She hardly could believe it, that their love had come to this:
Dividing an' deciding his and hers.
But she grabbed a paper napkin, an' asked the waitress for a pen.
An' one by one, she wrote down what she wanted most from him.
"Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust.
"A little less time for the rest of the world,
"And more for the two of us.
"Kisses each mornin', 'I love you's' at night,
"Just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
She reached across the table an' placed it in his hand,
An' said: "You know this isn't easy for me."
As he thought about the new car, the house an' the land,
An' wondered what that bottom line would be.
An' a thousand other things that she'd want him to leave behind,
But he never dreamed he'd open up that napkin and find:
"Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust.
"A little less time for the rest of the world,
"And more for the two of us.
"Kisses each mornin', 'I love you's' at night,
"Just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
Well, he fought back the tears, as he looked in her eyes,
An' said: "I don't know where to start."
An' she said: "Everything on that list in your hand,
"Is hidden somewhere in your heart.
"Honesty, sincerity, just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
DAD....
Daddy's Little Girl
Daddy take me with you
I promise I'll be good
Daddy, this is next time
And momma said I could
Sittin' in the front seat ridin' down town
An icecream cone I'd rap him around
My little finger
Tighter then my baby could
You can make a tear go a long long way
When you're daddy's little girl
Well he tightened my bike chain from 7 to 13
Taught me to drive when I was a wild thing
Reached and he prayed while I made some mistakes
That I wouldn't have made if I'd have done it his way
Now he hugs me when he sees me
We talk about the past
He tries to give me money
And I try and give it back
He's a book of advice
More then I need
The look in his eyes is saying to me
Let me help you all I can
While I'm still in this world
What will you do when you're daddy's gone
And you're daddy's little girl
Jeff Carson:
There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven
And she's daddy's little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus
And I close my eyes
And I think God for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses
With her momma there
Stickin' little white flowers
All up in her hair
Walk me down the isle daddy
It's just about time
Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy?
Daddy don't cry
With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning
And butterfly kisses for life
Faith Hill:
What'll I do when my daddy's gone
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| The feelings I feel when I see him... |
[Tuesday
May 31st, 2005
12:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Broken yet healed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I lost it by Kenny Chesney |
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Well, that perfect man I thought I would love for the rest of my life, he's got me all messed up. You see he was talking to not just one but like three different girls and when I asked him about it, he lied. I broke up with him of course and I didnt think I cared about it at all.. Until he tried to get with Amber. It tore me to pieces. I dont know if it was just because she's supposed to be my best friend or because I still have feelings for him? My heart is extremely broken tonight. So I'm sitting here by myself at the computer in the dark listening to music that brings me back into the old days, when everything was so easy. When my heart didnt revolve around boys. I wish I would never get involved with boys because eventually, there is just broken promises followed by broken dreams. Ugh. But Then there is him... Someone I've loved my entire life. I never thought I would talk to him again in my life. We had a love like people never know. He's been my best friend since Kindergarden. Someone I loved my whole life. We grew together, we laughed together, we cried together. We did things just best friends do not do. I love this boy. He was there through so much. You see, I've known I was in love with him since day one that he pushed me on that swing, when he chased me around the play ground and always let me win the games we played. I've known I loved him since he wrote me a note in the second grade telling me that he was going to be my husband one day. We laughed about that for years.. I remember the days we would sneak over to the other side of the playground so that the recess lady wouldnt catch us kissing. I remember the days when we learned how to read, and write in cursive. I remember the days when he would walk me home and carry my books. I remember the days when we rode bikes and played ball. Time passed, we grew into our own person yet I always thought about him. I always remembered his eyes, the way his hand felt when he wiped away my tears as I left for Florida. I didnt think I would see him again until one day in September when I was coming home from school and his truck was flipped over in thee street. I stoped to make sure everyone was okay. I seen him in the distance and I recognized his beautiful brown eyes. No one could ever forget those eyes. After our "reunion" we spent day after day together. Our friendship grew into a love people can never begin to understand. When we realized that we could be together for the rest of our lives, we got scared. At seventeen years old, that's the last thing that you could ever want. To be with one person for the rest of your life. So once again we went our seperate ways. I still thought about him every day of my life. The time we spent together, the neighborhood football games, the dirt bikes in the summer, the snow mobiles in the winter, falling asleep on his lap as we drove to Ludington... His arms around me as he held me while I cried over the loss of my dad. His hand in mine and how our fingers felt like they belonged together. Someone very wise told me when we broke up, that if you set something free and it comes back then it's meant to be. Well, as life would have it, once again our paths met. His eyes met mine and it was like fate was there between the two of us. We stood there in the doorway and embraced eachother for what seemed like hours. Hugging each other and trying not to cry. I knew what stood in front of me was so much more than just what was the boy down the road now. He was the bet friend from the past. The man who has my heart. That night, we stayed up all night catching up on the things we missed. I have never felt so loved by another person in my life. His eyes still have that little sparkle when they accidenly meet mine. He still gets that little blush in his cheeks when I talk about how much he means to me. He's still the little boy who chased me around the play ground. He's still the guy who carried my books home from school. He's still my best friend, the one who knows my heart inside and out. But most of all... He's the one man who has always been true to me and has only done what was best. Most of you are probally wondering who this is... You probally dont know who he is. He isnt Mike Wright, or Brandon Brady, or even Mike Beck. His name... Patrick Allen Carr. I'm confused about all of this, yes I know. Only time will work things out. I just know that now that he's back in my life, I feel whole. Like I'm going to be just fine despite the hurt people have caused me.. I just want him to know, I'll always love him no matter what happens between us. He's always been there and I dont ever want to picture my life for one more minute without him in it. If I was smart, I would have stayed single and just lived my life like we said we would. Instead, I had to be stupid and date Brandon. Look where that got me, two months of hard work and dedication stratight down the tubes for what? Just another broken heart.
Time matters less then history, which means, no matter how long it's been, people have history together. they have lived together, laughed together, made memories together.and no matter how far apart you grow - you'll always have the same memories"
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lindy_823's journal